Railroad TracksYou drawrailroad trackson your wristhoping themetal-made grooveswill takeyou somewherebetterBut these tracksyou're chugging along ononly put youon a trainthat is zoomingtoward a deep,dark tunnelAnd at the end of this tunnel,there is no light.
Lonely:When you'reso unwantedthat evenyour thoughtschooseto exityour company.
Barb WireYour barb-wired brainwon't let me in,and I'm getting cuttrying to jumpthe fence.
ShipI missed you todayI regretfully say,My feelings are tidesmoving every which wayThe image of youshall be washed apart,As the shore and the oceando gently departAnd the way that my feetleft prints on the sand,Is the way that I feltwhen you held my handBut it's time to move on,this ship's found new land,The anchor is sunk,and I will withstand
Mason JarSpeak my nameto the cavern walls,let me hearyour beckoning callsAnd I'll save the echoesin a mason jar,and open it to listenwhen youare f a r.
Space“I need space,” he quietly statesBut dear, what do you mean?Do you mean you want the planets,the asteroids,the sun?Do you mean you want the stars,the galaxies,the moon?Do you want to rent a room, inside a great black hole?An infinite vacuum,a quiet location,solitude for the soul?Oh yes, my dear,I’m sure you’ll find plenty of space in thereOh yes, my dear,in there,It’s as empty as you.
GoodbyeI want to mutter a million things,but they’re catching in my throatAnd my heart is heavy in my chest,with a weight that holds a heavy loadThis weight is not a pound of gold,but rather a pound of worthless rocksAnd now I’m spitting bits of gravelas I try to talk
CobwebsThere arepartsof my mindthat aregrowing cobwebs,would you liketo be the oneto dust them off?
Get Lost"Get lost," they said vindictively:A knife stabbed through my soulAnd being young and ignorant,I took these words so cruelI swam through roaring oceans,and I trekked the mountains highI spent time on deserted landwith me, myself, and IAnd as I wandered aimlesslyacross these untouched placesI realized to get lost,you must seek a destination
Candle WaxYou meltmy heartlike candle wax,but I'm afraidover timeI'll getburnt.
PalaceThis palacewe've built for ourselvesisn't going to last foreverand I can already see the vines growing,and the cracks forming,and the walls crumblingdowndowndownto the ground thatis falling awayAnd I just can't understandwhy it is so hard to builda beautiful creation like we have,yet so easy to destroythe masterpieceonce it's made
Starlight kisses and bed sheet hugsMy teeth arecoffee-stained,and my eyeshold dark pocketsof graphitebecause of allthe late nightsI let the starlightkiss me,and my bed sheetsembrace me,because I realizedyou never had,and now-you never would.
Melancholy thoughtsI tastethe sweetnessin your words,only to wonderhow many othershave tastedthem too.
SavedYour tangled up soulhas taken a toll,Hiding dark and deepthe secrets you keepThe tears you have shedfrom thoughts in your head,Dear they were all fiction:a made up addictionI want you to knowI see through the show,I know that your eyestell genuine liesI watch as you feignas you’re still in pain,And my soul will be toountil I have saved you
VeinsI wishmy veinsof ocean blueflowed not justto my heart,but toyours too.
It Comes With AgeYour bonesmight as wellbe of papier-mâché,at thetragic ratethey're decayingaw a y.
Cement HeartI built a wallaround my heart,and sworeI'd never let you inbut the more time thatI spend with you,allows the beatsto crackthe cement.
NothingI heard someone sarcastically sputter,"You are what you eat."But hearing that sole sentenceallowed me to finally understandwhy I amwhat I am:Nothing.
I saw thatI saw that.The way the wordsstuck in the back of your throat like glue.The way you held your tonguefor fear of ridicule if you spoke up for yourself.The way the syllables gushed from their mouths,a torrent of excuses,when they did you wrongbecause you didn't make your own caseand you should have been more forceful.I saw that.And I've been there, I've lived it.I know it's hard to let their criticismroll off your back whenthey've already knocked youflat on your face.But I saw that.And I won't let you fight it alone.
tonight i am old againtomorrow morning i will betwo again and scared of the shadows.i will be two again and i will notlook out the window unless you areholding my hand,i will be two again and my father willbe the biggest man on earth againbut tonight i am eighteen, i ameighteen, i amholding the world in my chest and it isbeating like a heart (well then it must be my heart)china digs a pattern in my backbone and iam red red red redi am a communist daughter andthe trains to shanghai will leave somethingto be desiredi am eighteen, i amall the life in the worldstacked around a schoolruined spineand the world moves softly and shetouches me gently with her faceand then slides away.tomorrow morning i will befive again and i will be happy,i will be five again and i will notlook at my body the way my mother looks at her body,i will be five againand people will just be pretty, people will just be"beautiful,"tomorrow morningpeople will just bepeoplebut tonight i am eighteen, i ameighte
.you buried me deep and called it a triumph,but you never realized -I'm a seed.
...when death put its handon my shoulder,it shivered;i was alreadycold.
...Wind up my heart, butlet it go.because it's Clockwork,and i'm running out oftime.
here's to losing youhey, wow,you look...great! you do!I'm well,and you?good, good.are you happy?great!am I? no, but here, have mynervous laughter, see me turn myselfupside down when we runinto each other.while you are shaking handsand kissing babiesstill smiling for smiling's sake,I've seen the real youcrying into wine. I've felt youstain my shirt black-streakedwith hidden away thingscreased things, folded and-tucked-under-heavyupturned-lip thingsand in the process, yousoaked my soul in everything you.spooning your vulnerabilitywas better than exchanging virginitiesin one blind night,better than the electric joltsyou sent burning up my armswhen you grabbed my handone day, out of the clear blue,better than that first kiss when both our tensions dissolved into each otherlike butter in a hot pan.nothing has quite matched the nightwhen I saw you naked, saw youemotionally undress for the first time:I'm fine,
how to take someone for granted (instructions).i. when the weight of the world is on their shoulders, leave them be.when the heaviness transfers to you,expect their sympathy.ii. goodnight cuddles and kisses add a nice touchto a relationship; it is far too muchfor them to ask you to listen.too much time is wasted, you see.iii. yes, when they are curled up crying with their blanket or duvet or whatever instead of you for warmth, you know you're doing well.they are beginning to tellthat you only want them for your own need.iv. endless messages flood your phone. inbox. voicemail. letterbox. they want you but you are not there.you don't care. congratulations - you're not too attached.v. now it's the time to find someone newto bend-over-backwards and jump through hoops for you.she has gone crawling to someone else for support and is trying to forget your existence.and just how do you feel about that?
how to get drunk and not mean itfirst:lie.say you’re just looking to have fun.don’t tell her about the last time this happened.plan on staying away from beds and grabby hands.plan on forgetting for once.next:lay in bed anyway because you trust her.debate if that’s wise.contemplate the universe and what dying feels like.decide it sounds like her laughter.feel like dying.then:let her hold you.try to decide if you want to remember this tomorrow.whisper into her mouth that you love her.let her shakily toss it back.lie to yourself.say you’ll forget.don’t.lastly:wake up with her in the other bed.complain about the headache.don’t complain about the lack of warmth.she’ll ask if you remember last night.lie.be hurt when she does too.write poetry about how you don’t care.do.lie anyway.
you're so blind.here i am drowningand you have no idea what to do,you're so lostand panicking.why don't you take your handsoff my shoulders?
SpacesWhen you saidyou needed space,you meant morebetween your fingers,so you could holdsomeone else's hand.