Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:icontangled-tales: More from Tangled-Tales


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
June 10
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,704 (5 today)
Favourites
216 (who?)
Comments
88
×
You draw
railroad tracks
on your wrist
hoping the
metal-made grooves
will take
you somewhere
better

But these tracks
you're chugging along on
only put you
on a train
that is zooming
toward a deep,
dark tunnel

And at the end of this tunnel,
there is no light.
A poem reflecting on self-harm, I suppose. I used a weird metaphor, but I hope you enjoy, nonetheless.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconwalmartmakesyoucrazy:
WalMartMakesYouCrazy Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  New member
Wow... Your writing never ceases to amaze me. Just the impact it has... This has certainly touched my heart. I love that metaphor, it fits perfectly... How long did this take you? I probably would've spent a month just trying to get as good as this O-O...
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Uhm I think I was playing basketball and the idea kind of popped into my head, so I went home and typed a little something up and BOOM. :) Most of my poetry is fairly just from sketch to here, haha. Or sometimes straight put on here, no rough draft. XD It is almost more "raw" this way, hahahha. AND JUST WRITE LOTS AND YOU WILL BE THREE HUNDRED TIMES MORE TALENTED FOR REAL> :hug:
Reply
:iconwalmartmakesyoucrazy:
WalMartMakesYouCrazy Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2014  New member
Basketball, hm? I'm not really a sporty person, but if I had to pick a favourite, I'd probably go with basketball. Unless, of course, they come up with a sport that involves sleeping in until noon and then sitting on your laptop all day XD
Yeah, I don't normally write rough copies either, just do a little editing here or there after I get through the basics. I have so much stuff just sitting on my computer, waiting to be uploaded... Oh, well.
Hey, practice makes perfect, right? XD I try to write as much as possible, but I'm normally either busy with schoolwork or being forced to go shopping and such with my mother... Rrrrrgh. And whenever I do find time, I'm probably not feeling 'the vibe'. Or experiencing yet another ongoing case of writer's block. 
Sorry, total rant-fest there... Complaining is just so much FUN, though! XD Again, sorry for wasting your time... I just realized how long this comment is... O-O...
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT SCHOOLWORK TIME! I find classes, when reviewing stuff you already know or have mastered, can be great times to jot down some of your best ideas! No no, love the rant. Stay awesome, cutie. :)
Reply
:iconwalmartmakesyoucrazy:
WalMartMakesYouCrazy Featured By Owner 5 days ago  New member
Yup, they're also a great time to catch up on lost sleep XD
Thanks, hon, you rock :)
Reply
:iconamann7:
Amann7 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014
Amazing
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
YOU. :hug:
Reply
:iconfindingwhatslost:
FindingWhatsLost Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist
First off I don't think that you used a weird metaphor at all I think that you used an engenious one that allows people to relate in a different way that usual to the concept of self harm. You don't drown this poem in words of pain and images of blood you convey that but in a way only suppelly. This poem speaks more of the truth of what the end result of self harm is in a way that isn't overly dramatic but in a way that drives home your point with utter certianty. And I think that the way you were able to acomplish all of that is because you arte a really good writer that and the choice of your metaphor. Like I said before it definitally isn't weird it is engenious. Amazing as always.
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Awww thank you so much! So glad to hear it impacted you, and made you think! :hug:
Reply
:iconfindingwhatslost:
FindingWhatsLost Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist
Your very very welcome!!!! :)
Reply
Add a Comment: