Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
You draw
railroad tracks
on your wrist
hoping the
metal-made grooves
will take
you somewhere
better

But these tracks
you're chugging along on
only put you
on a train
that is zooming
toward a deep,
dark tunnel

And at the end of this tunnel,
there is no light.
A poem reflecting on self-harm, I suppose. I used a weird metaphor, but I hope you enjoy, nonetheless.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconskye-42:
Skye-42 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014  Student General Artist
Amazingly beautiful. :')
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
THANK YOU!!! ^.^
Reply
:iconskye-42:
Skye-42 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014  Student General Artist
You're welcome~ I love the metaphor. ^^ Though I love most metaphors in general due to how amazing they can be~
Reply
:iconwalmartmakesyoucrazy:
Wow... Your writing never ceases to amaze me. Just the impact it has... This has certainly touched my heart. I love that metaphor, it fits perfectly... How long did this take you? I probably would've spent a month just trying to get as good as this O-O...
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Uhm I think I was playing basketball and the idea kind of popped into my head, so I went home and typed a little something up and BOOM. :) Most of my poetry is fairly just from sketch to here, haha. Or sometimes straight put on here, no rough draft. XD It is almost more "raw" this way, hahahha. AND JUST WRITE LOTS AND YOU WILL BE THREE HUNDRED TIMES MORE TALENTED FOR REAL> :hug:
Reply
:iconwalmartmakesyoucrazy:
Basketball, hm? I'm not really a sporty person, but if I had to pick a favourite, I'd probably go with basketball. Unless, of course, they come up with a sport that involves sleeping in until noon and then sitting on your laptop all day XD
Yeah, I don't normally write rough copies either, just do a little editing here or there after I get through the basics. I have so much stuff just sitting on my computer, waiting to be uploaded... Oh, well.
Hey, practice makes perfect, right? XD I try to write as much as possible, but I'm normally either busy with schoolwork or being forced to go shopping and such with my mother... Rrrrrgh. And whenever I do find time, I'm probably not feeling 'the vibe'. Or experiencing yet another ongoing case of writer's block. 
Sorry, total rant-fest there... Complaining is just so much FUN, though! XD Again, sorry for wasting your time... I just realized how long this comment is... O-O...
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT SCHOOLWORK TIME! I find classes, when reviewing stuff you already know or have mastered, can be great times to jot down some of your best ideas! No no, love the rant. Stay awesome, cutie. :)
Reply
:iconwalmartmakesyoucrazy:
Yup, they're also a great time to catch up on lost sleep XD
Thanks, hon, you rock :)
Reply
:iconamann7:
Amann7 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014
Amazing
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
YOU. :hug:
Reply
:iconfindingwhatslost:
FindingWhatsLost Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist
First off I don't think that you used a weird metaphor at all I think that you used an engenious one that allows people to relate in a different way that usual to the concept of self harm. You don't drown this poem in words of pain and images of blood you convey that but in a way only suppelly. This poem speaks more of the truth of what the end result of self harm is in a way that isn't overly dramatic but in a way that drives home your point with utter certianty. And I think that the way you were able to acomplish all of that is because you arte a really good writer that and the choice of your metaphor. Like I said before it definitally isn't weird it is engenious. Amazing as always.
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Awww thank you so much! So glad to hear it impacted you, and made you think! :hug:
Reply
:iconfindingwhatslost:
FindingWhatsLost Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist
Your very very welcome!!!! :)
Reply
:icontga-tsurugi:
TGA-Tsurugi Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
:heart:
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconnoelmaghathephoto:
noelmaghathephoto Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014   Photographer
Ahh. I really love this!! You are amazing!!~~Heart 
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Aww thank you! :) GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT!! :hug:
Reply
:iconnoelmaghathephoto:
noelmaghathephoto Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014   Photographer
You are welcome!!!Meow :3 
Reply
:iconwordconvict:
wordconvict Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
weird but wonderful! Bravo!
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
THANK YOU! :)
Reply
:iconlemonade-rush:
Lemonade-Rush Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014
I love it. Very beautiful. :')
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
THANK YOU!!! :)
Reply
:iconmaplegravy:
MapleGravy Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Wow, that's an excellent metaphor! 

To add on, it's like the deeper you go into an endless tunnel, the darker it gets, and the harder it becomes to see anything. Like, when there is more darkness, it's because there's less light....and since light seems to symbolize happiness, what's basically being said is that the farther you go, the less happiness and comfort is left. 

Nevertheless, this is one of my favorite poems of yours!
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Gahhh thank you! And I like that explanation! ^.^
Reply
:icontraumatizedcookies:
TraumatizedCookies Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Student Digital Artist
o-o This poem is so amazing. It's so creative and realistic. 
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Awww THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
Reply
:iconaiwinnez:
AiWinnez Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014
this is...
so deep :3
I like it very much ^^
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
THANKS! :)
Reply
:iconcaptainpup:
CaptainPup Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014
I love this. ♥
I love how you made it different from most of the self-harm poems I've seen. As said before, it isn't something to be romanticizing, and I'm glad this shows the truth about it.
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
THANK YOU!!! I just wanted to make it very realistic, and hopefully it can help anyone struggling! :)
Reply
:iconfelipe400:
Felipe400 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Awesome.
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
THANKS :D
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
It's very original. Well done :)
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
THANK YOU!! Glad to hear! :heart:
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconlaur720:
Laur720 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Beautiful metaphor.
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Gahhh, thank ya! :D
Reply
:iconlaur720:
Laur720 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
yw :)
Reply
:iconlmw-the-poet:
LMW-The-Poet Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Quite a unique comparison, I love it! :D
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
THANK YOU! I enjoy how it turned out!
Reply
:iconcbshippochan:
Cbshippochan Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's so true though!
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:D
Reply
:iconcbshippochan:
Cbshippochan Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
seriously. You keep going down what you think is a good road, but it's not. The obstacles get bigger, until you get to a breaking point, or hit a dead end :)
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
DEAD end, quite literally. :(
Reply
:iconcbshippochan:
Cbshippochan Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yeah
Reply
:iconsurrealnacre:
SurrealNacre Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
enjoyed thoroughly and voraciously~ lol XD
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hahaha, great! Glad to hear!
Reply
:iconcomfortablynumb79:
comfortablynumb79 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
beautiful! :)
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: THANK YOU DEAR!
Reply
:iconcomfortablynumb79:
comfortablynumb79 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
no problem :)
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:icontangled-tales: More from Tangled-Tales


Featured in Collections


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
June 10, 2014
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
2,237
Favourites
219 (who?)
Comments
91
×