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:icontangled-tales: More from Tangled-Tales


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poems and other writings... by Unisis-2-in-1-beauty


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Submitted on
March 9, 2014
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Maybe if
our lungs
exhaled money
instead of
carbon dioxide,
we'd value
life
a little more

(or maybe we'd just go broke).
I don't know, too short? Should I make it longer? Is the last line needed? FEEDBACK PLEASE :)
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:iconpsychosquatch:
psychosquatch Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014
If my lungs exhaled money I would hyperventilate on purpose. :)
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hhahah :P
Reply
:iconraythefilipinogwailo:
RayTheFilipinoGwaiLo Featured By Owner Edited Aug 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Lungs exhale CO2
CO2 is converted into sugar by way of the Calvin-Benson cycle using RuBP 
This occurs in sporophytes
The sugars produced fuel chemical reactions such as respiration
Respiration facilitates growth
Trees grow
The fibres used to make money grow on trees
So do bananas
You can pick bananas
You can sell bananas
You can eat bananas
Bananas are yummy
Reply
:iconchibi-suicune:
chibi-suicune Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2014   Digital Artist
Sid
the Science Kid


dont ask
Reply
:iconraythefilipinogwailo:
RayTheFilipinoGwaiLo Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Bob
the banana kid


dont ask
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Spot the science nerd......


heheheh just kidding
This made me chortle.
Reply
:icontpedwar:
tpedwar Featured By Owner Edited Aug 21, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I actually like the last line because we do indeed value life to an extent. Just not as much as we should. Love this one. :)
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Aw thank you! I have definitely grown to enjoy the last line, and its sarcasm! XD Seriously, thanks so so much. Stay rad, sunshine! :heart:
Reply
:icontpedwar:
tpedwar Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh wait, I totally thought you meant the line: a little more. I like them both. Sweating a little... 
Reply
:iconbelarusian:
belarusian Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is kind of fun.
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I think you meant to say funny, hahah. :P
Reply
:iconbelarusian:
belarusian Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh. Yes I did. Sorry.
Reply
:iconhermionie42:
hermionie42 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Imagine a world like that... Would people value money and put it as high on the pedestal as we do?
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I don't know! I guess that is the question I am posing! ;D Nice job detecting it. ;D
Reply
:iconr0binvi:
r0binVI Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
XD

please leave it as it is. the length is perfect for this (how to say how to say~ short and catching? less is more sometimes. think it would destroy the part thats already there if u added sth a little.)

the last sentence has to stay there. the first one says one thing and the last one says so much more haha.
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, I agree. The sarcasm needed to stay. ;D
Reply
:iconjasmine-woods:
Jasmine-Woods Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014
Good point, friend :)
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Heheee thanks! ;)
Reply
:iconyagamiseven:
Yagamiseven Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014
lol! This sounds funny!
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, guess the sarcasm at the end is a bit strong. ;P
Reply
:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner May 28, 2014  Student Writer
Fascinating concept. Yes, I think the last line is definitely needed. It really makes the reader wonder.
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner May 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Okay sweet thanks! :)
Reply
:iconbeth-beththecolorful:
Beth-BethTheColorful Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I like it, but I don't think the last line should be in parenthases, maybe the "..." at the end to induce thought
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hmmm okay! 
Reply
:iconannabelllee17:
AnnaBellLee17 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Student Writer
that would be painful xD
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Eeeep. </3
Reply
:iconannabelllee17:
AnnaBellLee17 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Student Writer
nods
Reply
:iconshacklesoul:
ShackleSoul Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Student Writer
This is the perfect length. The last line adds a bit of quasi-sarcastic levity to it as well, so I'd keep it.
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Heeheee, glad you liked it! :)
Reply
:iconomarius99:
Omarius99 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Very simple and blunt. I really like it. 
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
THANKS!! :)
Reply
:iconomarius99:
Omarius99 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
You're welcome. :)
Reply
:iconbeautypanda:
BeautyPanda Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I think the last line drives the point home. Wonderful job!!!!!!!!!!!! I am still struggling to write stuff this short and powerful!
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
THANKKK YOU :D And yes, it can be hard!
Reply
:iconbeautypanda:
BeautyPanda Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
How can you write such amazing poetry? I want to be as good as you one day! 

Beautiful work :hug:
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Awwww YOU are the gifted writer! But thanks! :)
Reply
:iconcorporaterockwhore:
CorporateRockWhore Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:iconunicornglompplz:
Reply
:icon237-indefinitetruth:
237-IndefiniteTruth Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Student General Artist
Wow, this one is awesome.
Really powerful, and the shortness of it really just adds to it's effect.
That last line is quite needed in my opinion.
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! And keeping the last line seems to be the overall concensus! ;P
Reply
:icon237-indefinitetruth:
237-IndefiniteTruth Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Student General Artist
Yup yup (n,n)
Reply
:iconnortstar:
Nortstar Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014
it is really good one
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!!
Reply
:iconnortstar:
Nortstar Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014
you are welcome :hug:
Reply
:iconyuesumi:
Yuesumi Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
The last line is so hard needed. It just makes the whole poem complete. Love it. :heart:
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Aww thank you! And thanks for the input as well!
Reply
:iconfuturegreenteller:
futureGREENteller Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014  Student Writer
Perfect. :)
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Glad you think so! THANKS! :hug:
Reply
:iconmsgeeknerd:
MsGeekNerd Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I like this, I think the last line gives it a comic if twist at the end.
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
That is what people have been saying, haha! THANK YOU! :)
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