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:icontangled-tales: More from Tangled-Tales


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Submitted on
March 9
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Maybe if
our lungs
exhaled money
instead of
carbon dioxide,
we'd value
life
a little more

(or maybe we'd just go broke).
I don't know, too short? Should I make it longer? Is the last line needed? FEEDBACK PLEASE :)
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:iconjasmine-woods:
Jasmine-Woods Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014
Good point, friend :)
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:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Heheee thanks! ;)
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:iconyagamiseven:
Yagamiseven Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014
lol! This sounds funny!
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:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, guess the sarcasm at the end is a bit strong. ;P
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner May 28, 2014  Student Writer
Fascinating concept. Yes, I think the last line is definitely needed. It really makes the reader wonder.
Reply
:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner May 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Okay sweet thanks! :)
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:iconbeth-beththecolorful:
Beth-BethTheColorful Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I like it, but I don't think the last line should be in parenthases, maybe the "..." at the end to induce thought
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:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hmmm okay! 
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:iconannabelllee17:
AnnaBellLee17 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Student Writer
that would be painful xD
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:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Eeeep. </3
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