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April 25
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Atelophobia
The word sticks to my tongue like cotton candy
The sweet, fluffy combination of letters
struggling to embody a correct connotation
And even the dictionary definition seems sugarcoated:
"Fear of imperfection."

Is that what they say when I'm up until 3am,
editing my English paper for the umpteenth time
The tick-tock tick-tock of the clock
promptly proliferating the room
And I just sit there changing good to great,
and peaceful to quiescent,
hoping that my teacher will be drunk in his bungalow
while he grades my chicken-scratch calligraphy
And he’ll see stars instead of how horrid it is

Or is that the word they use,
when I struggle to consume a 25-calorie chunk of chocolate
because I just know it will go straight to my hips,
or when I step on the scale
and watch the black dashes zoom by
like a carousel spinning,
And as the twirling and whirling makes me sick,
I know throwing up still won’t make me thin

And is that the term they mutter
when I'm sobbing in the bathroom stall,
as salty pools collocate on my sweat sodden jersey,
because I came in second in my race
And even though I ran 10 seconds faster than last time,
the silver medal bangs and bounces on my chest
to the melancholy mantra: second is the first to lose

But it’s not even the dulcet scent emitted by
the cotton candy word and definition
that makes me sick, that makes the word stick
Because even a cracked sidewalk
has flowers growing from its imperfections:
It's the fear that I'll never be good enough.
Atelophobia, I knew I would write a poem about it when I read that word. So this is my second poem written in two days, what what. Guess I have a bit of extra time on my hands. ;D I hope you enjoy this, as I think it is one of my favorites thus far.
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:iconbelarusian:
belarusian Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Crying Mako 
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:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
THANK YOU I THINK? hahha :)
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:iconotherland78:
otherland78 Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014
that there is even a word for it ..........
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:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
EXACTLY.
Reply
:iconluluthedragonqueen:
LuluTheDragonQueen Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
If only those who suffer would just realize how amazing it is to be liberated from those thoughts. <3 finally free
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:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Gah, but isn't it hard to break a habit of seeking perfection? But I so agree with you! :)
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:iconluluthedragonqueen:
LuluTheDragonQueen Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Yeah it probably took 3 years to get where I am now, and it's still a work in progress. I have lots of people to thank for it <3 I wouldn't be making so much progress if not for the friends I've made this year~
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:iconimariposa:
iMariposa Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful!
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:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
THANK YOU!! :D
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:iconimariposa:
iMariposa Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!
Reply
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