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April 25
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Atelophobia
The word sticks to my tongue like cotton candy
The sweet, fluffy combination of letters
struggling to embody a correct connotation
And even the dictionary definition seems sugarcoated:
"Fear of imperfection."

Is that what they say when I'm up until 3am,
editing my English paper for the umpteenth time
The tick-tock tick-tock of the clock
promptly proliferating the room
And I just sit there changing good to great,
and peaceful to quiescent,
hoping that my teacher will be drunk in his bungalow
while he grades my chicken-scratch calligraphy
And he’ll see stars instead of how horrid it is

Or is that the word they use,
when I struggle to consume a 25-calorie chunk of chocolate
because I just know it will go straight to my hips,
or when I step on the scale
and watch the black dashes zoom by
like a carousel spinning,
And as the twirling and whirling makes me sick,
I know throwing up still won’t make me thin

And is that the term they mutter
when I'm sobbing in the bathroom stall,
as salty pools collocate on my sweat sodden jersey,
because I came in second in my race
And even though I ran 10 seconds faster than last time,
the silver medal bangs and bounces on my chest
to the melancholy mantra: second is the first to lose

But it’s not even the dulcet scent emitted by
the cotton candy word and definition
that makes me sick, that makes the word stick
Because even a cracked sidewalk
has flowers growing from its imperfections:
It's the fear that I'll never be good enough.
Atelophobia, I knew I would write a poem about it when I read that word. So this is my second poem written in two days, what what. Guess I have a bit of extra time on my hands. ;D I hope you enjoy this, as I think it is one of my favorites thus far.
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:iconkatanaongaku:
KatanaOngaku Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  New member Hobbyist General Artist
:cry: 
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:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
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:iconraythefilipinogwailo:
RayTheFilipinoGwaiLo Featured By Owner Edited Aug 26, 2014  New member Hobbyist Writer
Lament of the Asian kid.
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:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
aw oh my. That is hilarious and true. >.<
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:iconrainbowyheart:
RainbowyHeart Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  New member
Reading this poem and the comments, I find relief knowing that I am not alone in my perfectionistic tendencies. Sometimes I will put myself down if I have made even the slightest mistake or if I suspect that others will not approve because I have not done the best I could possibly do. It's makes it so much harder to enjoy life when I am constantly picking out things that are wrong with me. I am my own worst enemy. But when I let go of the fear,atelophobia is merely the drive to succeed and overcome any obstacles...so, depending on how I look at it, it is also a gift. My parents tell me all the time that I have nothing to fear but fear itself. Without fear nothing stands in my way. Without fear I am invincible. I have truly been inspired by your words. Your writing is so full of passion and it leaves a strong impression on my soul. Wonderful work!
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:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I agree, I am my own worst enemy as well. Most of the problems are self-induced, over thinking situations that should be simplified! I am so glad to hear my words inspired you, and that it left an impression. I hope you now can help anyone else who over thinks and believes perfection is necessary! Stay rad, sunshine! :)
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:iconrainbowyheart:
RainbowyHeart Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2014  New member
<3 Thank you! A simple life is a good life. :)
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:iconbelarusian:
belarusian Featured By Owner Edited Aug 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I know. I have atelophobia. It's hell.
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:icontangled-tales:
Tangled-Tales Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:/ Sorry sunshine! Try to fight through it, and use it to make you better, not stressed!
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:iconsarcasticcupcake5:
SarcasticCupcake5 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I would just like to thank you for writing the perfect description of my existsnce, this poem is amazing.
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